let's swap chests
by popexpaulsen
Summary: "The feeling in his chest wasn't too dissimilar to when he's about to get a panic attack, but it stemmed from something that was somehow scarier if he dared let himself think about it." An early S8 oneshot.


**A/N: This fic wouldn't have happened without the help of the wonderful Elle ( darveyiscanon1) and also caskettxdarvey. I am eternally grateful.**

Set early in season 8

_I have a question, it might seem strange,_

_how are your lungs? are they in pain?_

_cause mine are aching, think I know why_

Harvey was studying the file in front of him, looking like he wanted it to burst into flames when Donna walked into his office that evening. Their paths hadn't crossed much at all that day, and honestly, she had been so busy she wasn't even sure what case he was working on.

"Hey stranger," she smirked as she sauntered over to his desk and sat herself down on the chair opposite him. He had looked up when he heard the click of her heels against the floor, and he was worried he hadn't schooled his features as quickly as usual, the dress she was wearing today almost literally taking his breath away. It was deep green, figure hugging, falling just below the knee, and the V-neck flattered her chest so perfectly he'd swear it was made just for her.

"Hey," he replied once the ability to speak had returned to him. "Are you here on business or can I use your presence as an excuse for a much-needed drink?"

"Well, I'm finished for the day, and my office is all out of scotch, so I think I'll take you up on that offer." Her smile was flirty, and he took a second to appreciate being back to normal with his best friend before replying in an equally flirty tone.

"Donna Paulsen, are you using me for my alcohol?" he exclaimed in mock outrage. Truthfully, he'd take any excuse to be in her company, but he'd also do anything to make her smile, and this tactic was working.

"I didn't say that!" she gasped, failing to keep the corners of her mouth from lifting slightly.

"But you didn't deny it either," he pointed out, moving over to pour them each a glass of scotch.

"Ooh, good argument, Mr. Lawyer." She cocked her brows and stood to move to the spot on his sofa she had long since claimed as her own. He handed her a glass and took his seat on the other end. This new habit they had formed of sharing a drink at the end of the workday had quickly become the thing that drove him to get up in the morning. Knowing he would eventually get to spend some uninterrupted time with her made the endless meetings and fights about names on the wall all worth it.

Since Mike and Rachel's wedding, and the departure of his best friend, he had finally realised what had been so obvious to almost everyone else in his life for years. He was in love with Donna Paulsen. Even though he knew she didn't feel the same, she had completely ruined him for anyone else, so if all he ever got with her was late nights in the office drinking whiskey and sharing stories, he'd gladly take it.

She was in the middle of the story about a run in Samantha had with one of the associates earlier in the day, barely able to get the words out between giggles, but if you asked him to repeat what she said to him, he'd really struggle. Her smile was intoxicating, and the laugh lines around her eyes were just about the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. As she continued her story, he felt a familiar ache in his ribs start to rise to the surface. The feeling in his chest wasn't too dissimilar to when he's about to have a panic attack, but it stemmed from something that was somehow scarier if he dared let himself think about it. His lungs were aching so much that he completely missed the question Donna had just asked him.

"Harvey?" She reached a hand out to touch his leg in order to get his attention. "Hey, are you listening to me?" She seemed genuinely concerned from him and _goddammit,_ why couldn't she feel what he was feeling in his chest? And why couldn't she read his mind as well as she _goddamn_ said she could?

"Do you ever feel the need to get something off your chest so badly if physically hurts? Like your chest aches?" he finally asked, studying her features in an attempt to gauge her reaction to his seemingly out of the blue question.

"I don't… I'm not sure I know what you mean," Donna replied carefully. The feeling he was describing was all too familiar to her, all the times she held back from discussing _them _sprining to mind immediately. However, her habit of lying to him had become very prominent over the last couple of months, the redhead determined to guard her heart, which had already been shattered one too many times by the man sitting in front of her.

Harvey took a breath, giving himself a moment to consider how he wanted to continue this conversation, if at all.

"I just… do you ever feel like you've wasted so much time?" he pressed, begging her with his eyes to understand what he was trying to say. Donna, however, was done with letting him off the hook easily.

"Wasting time on what, exactly?" Her mind was in a heated battle with her heart about getting her hopes upthat he was going to tell her he wanted more with her. She wanted this so badly, but he had proved time and time again that he saw her as his best friend and his colleague, and nothing more. She almost didn't want to hear his answer, willing to spend the rest of her days in this moment where everything was a possibility.

"I just wish you'd fall in love with me," he whispered, before he could stop the words. Her face mirrored the shock he felt that he allowed that thought to leave his head.

"You… what?" Her eyes studied his features, searching for a sign he had actually just said that, and it wasn't a figment of her imagination. The panic in his eyes all but confirmed that this was real, but she needed to be sure. "What did you just say to me?" she breathed out eventually.

"Donna, I… that just came out, I don't-." She cut him off before he could finish his sentence, unwilling to go through this particular brand of heartbreak _again_.

"Harvey Specter, don't you _dare_ take that back, or so help me God, I'm walking out of your life forever," she admonished him. He closed his mouth then, thinking if there was ever a moment to obey the mighty Donna Paulsen, this was it. An eternity passed between them before she spoke again, her words coming out around a watery laugh, not quite able to believe what she was uttering. "What makes you think I'm not in love with you, you idiot?"

"I… because you kissed me and you didn't feel anything?" It came out as a question, as he doubted the statement that had been in the forefront of his mind since the night she threw it in his face in the lobby of this very building.

"Oh my God, Harvey, of course I felt something. I felt everything. I lied to you because I still don't know how to put my feelings above yours, but Harvey, I've been in love with you forever." By the time she had finished, they were both beaming. A single tear rolled down Donna's cheek, the freedom she felt upon her admission overwhelming her. Harvey reached out to wipe it away with his thumb, moving his hand to grip her chin so she was looking directly at him.

"Yeah?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she giggled, her cheeks starting to hurt from her inability to stop smiling.

"Well that's good, because I've been in love with you forever too," he murmured, before closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was soft, and more intimate than any of the few they had shared before. They were both relishing in the newfound feeling of being able to be completely themselves. When she parted her lips, the kiss became more passionate, and Donna quickly realised that if she didn't stop this now, neither of them would be able to. She gently pushed on his chest with one hand, whilst keeping him close with her other hand at the back of his head.

"I think we should get out of here," she whispered so softly he wouldn't have heard her if they weren't still so close.

"Hhmm, I think you're right, the things I want to do with you right now aren't exactly office appropriate," he smirked, pulling back to stand up from the couch.

"Oh, don't try to tell me you haven't thought about it," she threw back at him.

"Donna Paulsen, are you suggesting office sex because I would _not _be opposed." He was delighting in being in the position of not having to carefully hide his innuendos when talking to her, everything about his posture exuding his pleasure at the situation.

"Not tonight, Specter." She shook her head, holding out her hand for him to take. "I want you to take me home now." He slipped his hand into the one she had offered him, and dragged her towards the elevator. Once they reached the lobby, they let go. It was late, but there was still a possibility that someone they knew was hanging around, and the acknowledgment that they didn't want anyone to know what had happened between them before it even happened went unspoken.

Ray was waiting for them outside, and the drive to Donna's apartment seemed to take much longer than usual even though the traffic was relatively light. Once they reached their destination, Harvey held Donna's door open for her and they made their way inside the building. The tension in the elevator was palpable, and when it finally reached Donna's floor, harvey let out a relieved breath.

Donna was in the midst of turning the key when she stopped, turning around to face the man who was standing barely an inch behind her, his hands hovering around her waist.

"Wait, Harvey," she started, "before we go in there I need to know-."

He was the one to cut her off this time, for once knowing exactly what she needed to hear.

"Donna, I want everything with you," he told her assuredly. "It's gonna be me and you forever."

"Okay," she smiled, sinking back against the door as his words washed over her. "Then we have everything."

**A/N: This fic was inspired by the song "Would You Be So Kind?" by dodie. Please let me know what you think and come say hi to me on twitter ( popexpaulsen).**


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